iPhone X? Ah, the shiny new features... from 2015!

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I couldn't resist this - just too easy a target. But look at the photo and the bullet points below, phrased within an Apple-like reality distortion field - the sort of thing that tech media love...

Apple iPhone X, err.. I mean Lumia 950 XL

  • This... is the new iPhone X Lumia 950 XL. Fitting comfortably in the hand, it's almost all screen!
  • Retina-level QHD AMOLED screen with gorgeous colours, and advanced circular polarisers for outdoor use!
  • You can swipe up from the bottom... to reveal navigation controls - or just dismiss them again, for maximum display real estate!
  • Unlock the phone by just looking at it, using your hard to fake face impossible to fake irises!
  • Charge the phone wirelessly, with industry standard Qi charging!
  • Take fabulous photos with arguably the best phone-mounted camera in the world, with 5th gen OIS!
  • See more than ever before using the auto-refreshing, information-rich Start screen tiles!
  • Get great battery life with a large 3400mAh cell - and you can swap it or replace it if needed!
  • And charge it FAST with USB Type C Power Delivery!
  • Replace the back with a range of natural materials, including bamboo, cedar and leather!
  • Best of all, this phone has been available for the last TWO YEARS - where have you been? OK, ok, it's only £1000 £300, or whatever you can find it for on clearance at your local phone shop...

Of course, that last point emphasises the tragedy of the situation. The Lumia 950 XL can't sensibly even be bought new anymore and second hand prices are going up and up as this phone becomes rarer and rarer. Remind me why Microsoft stopped making it again??

But my tongue-in-cheek point remains. That a lot of what Apple came out with last night has been done before, years ago, on devices that many of us still have in our hands - or drawers.

Comments welcome.

PS. And notice that I refrained from saying "And it doesn't run a locked down proprietary OS but Windows, with a full file PC-like file system" or "plug it directly into a monitor to use it as a genuine secondary display via Continuum" or "it has a headphone jack!" or a number of other plus points. I've already done my OS comparison for the day!